In 2014, I (Kyle) coached a tennis player based in Miami. As tennis players, we like to have control over everything, but sometimes we can’t. When some players can’t control everything, they tend to become negative and focus on all the bad things. In my research, negativity was one of the seven reasons for failure. In fact, it was number two, behind fear of failure.

The player I (Kyle) was coaching was playing against a very tough opponent who was playing at her home club, with her coaches, family, and friends all there. The club was in a bad part of town, and the courts were not in great shape. Every time my player missed a ball, the opponent’s entourage cheered wildly. The South Florida afternoon was incredibly hot and humid, and it looked like it could pour rain at any minute. My (Kyle) player lost the first set 6-1 and was down 4-2 in the second set when a big rain shower came down, lasting only two minutes but completely wiping out the courts.

During the rain delay, my (Kyle) player came over to me, dragging herself, head down, and complaining about everything that was going wrong. Instead of giving her cliché advice, I (Kyle) told her to go to the igloo cooler, take a plastic Dixie cup, fill it to the top with water, and make two laps around the court without spilling a drop. She looked at me like I (Kyle) was crazy, but she did it.

When she came back out, the courts had dried in no time, and my (Kyle) player filled up the little plastic cup with water, took two laps around, didn’t spill a drop, and went on to win the match. She later told me (Kyle) that she had been so focused on the task at hand that she had forgotten about all the negativity around her.

The moral of the story is that sometimes when we’re in a negative environment and can’t control certain things, we need to focus on the task at hand and keep our nose to the grindstone. As tennis coaches, it’s important to grab our players’ attention and steer it towards something that they can control. Redirecting their attention towards the task at hand can be very effective in helping them overcome negative thoughts and feelings.

I have often wondered about this for some time now. Every day, I ask myself if there is a way to achieve success without sacrificing work-life balance. However, in any field, whether it’s being a tennis coach, an athlete, a lawyer, a doctor, or an accountant, you will have to put in long hours and make certain sacrifices to achieve your goals.

Although we live in a social environment where there is a hierarchy, we must prioritize what is valuable to us. There will always be individuals who are better or worse than us at what we do, but if we want to excel, we must make sacrifices, and this inevitably results in an imbalance in our lives.

In my (Kyle) experience, I have not encountered any successful tennis coach with a stable work-life balance. It’s a deal that we make to pursue our passion, and we never seem to get out of it because we love what we do. Even on bad days or long days, there is something that keeps us coming back, like an addiction to the game and the desire to give back to the sport. However, there are coaches who have left the industry due to the heavily influenced service industry and it’s demanding work hours.

As coaches, we are part of the service industry, and it’s essential to make a distinction that we are not in the servant industry. Respect for our time is crucial. We do ourselves a disservice when we undercut our fellow professionals or resort to territorial behavior. Working together and helping each other out is the way to succeed. It’s the little extra effort that sets apart ordinary from extraordinary, and we need to make that extra effort to excel.

There is no right answer to achieving work-life balance, but being a tennis coach is one of the most rewarding and powerful professions. In fact, if you ask 100 people on the street who the most influential person in their life is, they are likely to say a teacher or a coach. The impact we can make is significant and long-lasting. A great coach leaves a legacy that lives on, even if they have struggled with work-life balance. It’s this legacy that makes it all worth it in the end.

You could certainly make arguments for both sides, but I believe that there was a certain generation of coaches who were more dogmatic in their approach.

While it is necessary for coaches to be strict and stern when it comes to technique, the laws of physics, and the geometry of the court, there are other aspects where you have to loosen the reins a little bit and understand your player’s personality and preferences.

Great coaches, even in the past, were able to understand and read their players better than just a good coach. Adaptability is key in coaching, and while it may have been more acceptable in the past to treat players a certain way based on what was known, now there is more education and information available to make everyone better.

With the world changing and social media allowing anyone to record and share anything they want, there is an opportunity for coaches and players alike to be more well-informed.

Q: Is it possible to be both adaptable and foster an environment in which there are some clear non-negotiables?

As a coach, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and expectations for your players. There’s a certain line that you cannot cross with certain coaches, but it’s important to communicate those standards based on your relationship with each player.

The line can always change, depending on the player and the situation. For example, Phil Jackson did not coach Michael Jordan the same way he coached Dennis Rodman. As a coach, you need to treat everyone fairly, but not necessarily the same way, as everyone is different and on a different journey. You must adapt to each player and their needs, rather than expecting them to adapt to you.

To effectively communicate your expectations, you need crystal clear clarity from the start. Make sure that the player understands where you’re coming from, what you want them to do, and encourage them to be honest and upfront with you as well.

Without that foundation of honesty, you have nothing. Ask the player about their non-negotiables and what they need from you. Understanding their boundaries and expectations will help you provide the best possible service.

At a higher level, like the pro tour, coaches are typically employees of the player, so it’s important to work together and establish a good working relationship. At a club level, coaches are usually in charge, but at the tour level, players have more say. Regardless of the level, the three keys to success are clear communication, adaptability, and honesty. By establishing these from the beginning, you can avoid issues down the line and build a successful relationship with your player.

Coaching is based on several factors, including content, method, and coaching quality, rather than just one buzzword or unique theory.

The principles of tennis, such as the geometry of the court and laws of physics, are critical in coaching. What matters most is getting from point A to point B, and how you achieve it doesn’t matter.

Tennis requires a lot of repetition-based activities, which can be challenging for players. Therefore, a coach must tailor their approach to the player’s abilities and strengths. It’s crucial to identify players’ strengths and weaknesses and work with them accordingly.

Coaches need to be adaptable and connect with players on a personal level. Without this connection, there can be no direction.

Therefore, a great coach must understand the player, not only on a technical level, but also personally. A great coach has the ability to get the player to believe that the change is coming from them, rather than the coach. Ultimately, the coach’s ability to adapt and understand the player is crucial to success, as every player is unique and requires a tailored approach.